Friends

I need 'em. Like real true real real friends.
Not acquaintances. Not superficial relationships.

Friends. Real friends.

And I know who those friends should be, I know I know I just know.
One of them includes Jaden, my childhood buddie.
There are others too.

They seem like they want to hang around me.
But I just can't seem to talk or approach them like I want need to.
BLEH.

I think it may be because all the friends I've had over the past 6 years haven't treated me well.
At all.
(Excluding Lakewood buddy-family-loves. <3)

Newz

So a lot a stuff has been happening lately; and very little at the same time.

School is different this year. The fact that I've never been to the same school two years in a row probably has something to do with it. But I know it's not just me. Everyone else who went there last year feels the same way.

I changed my mood stabilizer. I was starting to become bored on Lamictal. I couldn't feel really happy or sad- in a normal way I mean. Lamictal was really great for most of the year and a half I was on it. I managed to catch up in school in a crazy amount of time and it help me deal. But I was irritated all the time, ALL THE TIME. And I was mean.

Since getting off of it I feel my personality coming back little by little. I'm not rude like I was. :) Now I'm on Abilify. Haha, whenever I think about the name I just think about the silly commercial it has. I barely transitioned a week ago. I still have mood swings but right now I like it. Although, it's not like it was before I got on any kind of mood stabilizer. But eventually I'll probably have to make the dose higher. I don't want to but if need be I'll do it. :)

I might get kicked out of day school. My attendance has been poor and I'm on something called a contract which means I'm on probation. This week will decided whether or not I can stay. They're kicking out a ton of people. It's unfair since it had to do with my moods. But my attendance has been better since being on Abilify.

Hmm, well I'm not sure if I'm going to get my regular high school diploma. That would take 27 credits. Which I can get, but the problem is my attendance and the fact that I need mostly electives and Mountain doesn't offer that many. Work release and volunteering is probably going to be my only way of getting the extra 3 credits for a regular diploma. The alternative is an adult diploma which is 24 credits, and I would be done with school by early January.

I don't know what to do yet. What do you think??

Um this is already sorta long. I could write a lot more but I don't want to.
Bye. :)